You know it’s time to go on a diet when your friend sits you down over salt beef to tell you ‘as a friend’ that you need to lose weight. Two weeks ago another friend asked me if I had figured out how to change the resistance on my exercise bike and my grandma has started to call me chazzer-chops (yiddish translation: fat shit). Anyway, today is day 1 and I’m hoping that this blog will become a fun by-product of my shitty diet.
Annoyingly i’ve done this all before. When I was 17 I weighed in at a hefty 21 stone… I caught a stomach bug whilst clubbing in Zante (I blamed the dodgy halloumi, greek boys and tanning oil), lost a stone and decided to carry on for another 2 years. I ended up weighting 13 stone at the age of 20. I was beautiful, springy, full of energy and didn’t give a shit about food. I ate to live…. didn’t live to eat.
Me at 17 and then 20 –
However, it all went tits-up when I fell in love. You know how it is… fancy restaurants here, banana pancakes there. Boom – it all becomes about food again. Combined with giving up a 25-a-day smoking habit, I’m back at 17 stone. After deciding that I couldn’t start smoking again or dump my boyfriend, it seems that an old-fashioned diet is my only way forward. Great.
Let the games begin!