Hey fatty!

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Being called fat isn’t as simple as it used to be… people are getting way more creative these days. I’ve been thin and I’ve been fat (twice) – along the way I’ve noticed a few things which always happen to me when i’m at the fat stage:

1. The “fatty on the remote” effect 

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Why does everyone always blame the fat guy for sitting on the remote? If I had a penny for every time one of my friends told me to get up from the couch because they thought it was me sitting on the remote I’d be able to afford a gastric fucking band. To be fair… my friends are usually right 😦 #fatwhore

2. When people say you’ve lost weight, but you’ve actually just stayed the same 

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I always get this one. When people say i’ve lost weight but I actually haven’t, it means they’re remembering me fat. The upside to this one is people constantly think you’re losing weight when you’re not. Could be worse I guess!

3. When people give you their seat on the tube

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Ok this one hasn’t happened to me… but have you ever witnessed the AWFUL moment when you see someone giving up their tube seat to a non-pregnant woman. The shame of it!

4. When people call you ‘big man’… but they’re the same height

This is a common one for me…

Tall guy: Hey big man!

Me: That’s rude

Tall guy: Nooo, I mean because of you’re height

Me: I mean… you’re the same height as me?

5. When you’re eating cake and someone says “go on.. treat yourself!”

I’m not treating myself.. this is my breakfast… DICK

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12 thoughts on “Hey fatty!

    mpwilson said:
    February 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm

    I personally hate the ‘big guy’ moniker, I’ve been getting it for years. I know they don’t necessarily mean it in a negative way, but it’s still crap. Oh and a recently colleague has taken to calling my ‘fatty’ because he feels he’s allowed since he’s gained a bit of weight himself.. Seriously? Some people…

      gratefulrick said:
      February 25, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      I get “big guy” too. I would respect a “hey fatso” more, at least it would be brutally honest.

        bigjewonadiet responded:
        March 1, 2014 at 10:23 am

        I’m glad someone agreed here!

    Missy said:
    February 8, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    OMG Just saw this post after posting my “I am hard core” post..(The I’m too sexy pic is sooo ironic.

    I’ve actually been asked if I was pregnant before, by a coworker, after I had started a new job. I said to her, “No, I am just fat. I earned this fat body having 6 kids. If I got pregnant again I would tie my fallopian tubes around my neck in a noose and hang myself!” Ohh boy. She apologized profusely. And it taught me to never wear a size medium scrub top in a size XL body. Well my upper half anyway. Have huge bazookas and skinny little legs. I look like a pregnant chicken. 🙂

    Love your blog BTW. Very unconventional, but hilarious way to dieting. 🙂

    my1yeardiet said:
    February 9, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Haha – “When people say you’ve lost weight, but you’ve actually just stayed the same”. True… Worse thing is when people say I’ve gained weight, when actually i have stayed the same…Hmm

    lgbticons said:
    February 9, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    Reblogged this on lgbticons.

    ktcrter said:
    February 9, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    I’ve been skinny and fat before too, and people love to comment on what you’re eating.
    Skinny: how lucky you can eat the whole pizza and stay thin, I wish I had your metabolism.
    Ha! Please I’m gunna have to run four hours straight after this pizza.
    Fat: really do you think that’s a good choice, wouldn’t you rather have a salad or even a wrap?
    No, I want a burger, that’s why I ordered it.

    My all time favorite, “0h, you’re on a diet hunh? Well let me give you some unsolicited useless advice about getting skinny”

      bigjewonadiet responded:
      February 10, 2014 at 9:37 am

      Haha this is so true!

    samsjones said:
    February 11, 2014 at 11:30 pm

    I look pregnant after any meal lately 😛 your blog is so real, keep up the good work!

    gofatness2fitness said:
    February 12, 2014 at 12:39 am

    “When people say i’ve lost weight but I actually haven’t, it means they’re remembering me fat.” Ugh. So true!

    ewoolf2 said:
    February 15, 2014 at 2:25 am

    Omg you crack me up!

    Lori Epperson said:
    February 23, 2014 at 11:54 pm

    LOL! I can’t count the number of times men offered me their seats, because they thought I was pregnant. I usually smiled, said “thank you”, and took the seat, because my back was hurting so bad.

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