Being called fat isn’t as simple as it used to be… people are getting way more creative these days. I’ve been thin and I’ve been fat (twice) – along the way I’ve noticed a few things which always happen to me when i’m at the fat stage:
1. The “fatty on the remote” effect
Why does everyone always blame the fat guy for sitting on the remote? If I had a penny for every time one of my friends told me to get up from the couch because they thought it was me sitting on the remote I’d be able to afford a gastric fucking band. To be fair… my friends are usually right 😦 #fatwhore
2. When people say you’ve lost weight, but you’ve actually just stayed the same
I always get this one. When people say i’ve lost weight but I actually haven’t, it means they’re remembering me fat. The upside to this one is people constantly think you’re losing weight when you’re not. Could be worse I guess!
3. When people give you their seat on the tube
Ok this one hasn’t happened to me… but have you ever witnessed the AWFUL moment when you see someone giving up their tube seat to a non-pregnant woman. The shame of it!
4. When people call you ‘big man’… but they’re the same height
This is a common one for me…
Tall guy: Hey big man!
Me: That’s rude
Tall guy: Nooo, I mean because of you’re height
Me: I mean… you’re the same height as me?
5. When you’re eating cake and someone says “go on.. treat yourself!”
I’m not treating myself.. this is my breakfast… DICK