Hello from Dubai 🙂 Here are my 10 stages of dieting whilst holidaying… or holidaying whilst dieting. Please note that the time taken between each stage vary massively depending on how serious the case is. I’ve been known to experience all 10 emotions within about 2 hours… and that’s before I’ve even left the country.
1. The optimistic stage
You’ve been dieting for a while now and you feel pretty confident. You wouldn’t dream of having cake and you judge other people for doing so. You’ve researched your hotel’s gym options.
2. The temptress stage
Your optimism is slightly dampened when you first see the hotel breakfast buffet. Breakfast is your favourite. Are those pancakes I see?
3. The pessimistic stage
Optimism is thrown out the window and his arch nemesis pessimism shows up the hotel. You call your weight watchers sponsor but they don’t pick up the phone. You can smell the buffet bacon. You begin to make up reasons in your head why you should blow the diet.
4. The ‘just-this-once’ stage
“Oh go on… I’m on holiday!” can often be heard from people in this stage… and “just this one won’t hurt”. The first-timers usually start out with the ‘gateway foods’ such as extra honey on their porridge or hash-browns with their scrambled eggs.
5. The “only dessert” stage
You start letting yourself have the occasional dessert…. However, as we all know, vampires can never have just one taste of blood.
6. The YOLO stage
This is the final stage… the stage where you stop giving a crap. You’ve already worn your tightest clothes leaving the looser ones to go, you’ve hidden your hotel bathroom scales and you’ve told your partner/friends not to judge you. You’ve forgotten what a gym is. Now’s the time. Enjoy.
7. “The minute I touch home soil I’m back on the diet” stage
Your airplane seatbelt feels so much tighter and you look way fatter in that airplane mirror. But guess what, you’re happy you relaxed on the holiday. The minute you touch home soil you’ll go back on your diet. I’ve been known to rip my shorts at this point.
8. The holiday leftovers
You’ve touched home soil but you still have those holiday chocolates which remind you of the hotel…. plus you’re tired from the plane and could use a pick-me-up. You binge.
9. Back to normal (can take up to a month)
You’re back to normal. You lose the weight and remember how good it felt to not be a fat piggy. You realise that as long as you nip it straight in the bud then it doesn’t matter so much about blowing it.
10. Another holiday booked… do it all over again