The 10 stages of going on holiday whilst on a diet

Posted on

Hello from Dubai 🙂 Here are my 10 stages of dieting whilst holidaying… or holidaying whilst dieting. Please note that the time taken between each stage vary massively depending on how serious the case is. I’ve been known to experience all 10 emotions within about 2 hours… and that’s before I’ve even left the country.

1. The optimistic stage 

You’ve been dieting for a while now and you feel pretty confident. You wouldn’t dream of having cake and you judge other people for doing so. You’ve researched your hotel’s gym options.


2. The temptress stage 

Your optimism is slightly dampened when you first see the hotel breakfast buffet. Breakfast is your favourite. Are those pancakes I see?


3. The pessimistic stage

Optimism is thrown out the window and his arch nemesis pessimism shows up the hotel. You call your weight watchers sponsor but they don’t pick up the phone. You can smell the buffet bacon. You begin to make up reasons in your head why you should blow the diet.


4. The ‘just-this-once’ stage

“Oh go on… I’m on holiday!” can often be heard from people in this stage… and “just this one won’t hurt”. The first-timers usually start out with the ‘gateway foods’ such as extra honey on their porridge or hash-browns with their scrambled eggs.

5. The “only dessert” stage

You start letting yourself have the occasional dessert…. However, as we all know, vampires can never have just one taste of blood.

6. The YOLO stage

This is the final stage… the stage where you stop giving a crap. You’ve already worn your tightest clothes  leaving the looser ones to go, you’ve hidden your hotel bathroom scales and you’ve told your partner/friends not to judge you. You’ve forgotten what a gym is. Now’s the time. Enjoy.

7. “The minute I touch home soil I’m back on the diet” stage

Your airplane seatbelt feels so much tighter and you look way fatter in that airplane mirror. But guess what, you’re happy you relaxed on the holiday. The minute you touch home soil you’ll go back on your diet. I’ve been known to rip my shorts at this point.


8. The holiday leftovers 

You’ve touched home soil but you still have those holiday chocolates which remind you of the hotel…. plus you’re tired from the plane and could use a pick-me-up. You binge.

9. Back to normal (can take up to a month)

You’re back to normal. You lose the weight and remember how good it felt to not be a fat piggy. You realise that as long as you nip it straight in the bud then it doesn’t matter so much about blowing it.

10. Another holiday booked… do it all over again 


4 thoughts on “The 10 stages of going on holiday whilst on a diet

    sokebe said:
    March 5, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    So true – I could easily substitute “weekend” for “holiday” and it’s all STILL true (except for the plane trip part). Thanks for sharing!

    gratefulrick said:
    March 5, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    You are killin’ me. It’s only funny because it’s oh so true.

    fletchiefeasts said:
    March 9, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    So funny because it is unfortunately so true for me!

    S said:
    March 11, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    I just read about eight of your posts. VERY FUNNY! AND; you visited Dubai!? Major awesomeness. Major. It’s on my Bucket List.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s