Recipizzles

Rosemary Lemon flame-grilled chicken kebabs

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Summer grillin’ having a blaaasstt, summer grillin’ happens so fassttttt. I met a chicken crazy for meeee, I met a marinade crazy for the chickennnn. Summer days, grillin’ away, to uh-oh those grillin’ nights.

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Charlie and I have been visiting his family in Aberfeldy, Scotland. It’s bang in the middle of the Scottish country side and we had incredible luck with the weather. Summer is a great excuse to get the grill out. If it were up to me I’d grill everything. It’s a great, healthy way to cook with lots of flavour. No frying involved and it’s certainly more excited than baking. Here’s my recipe for lemon and rosemary flame-grilled chicken kebabs:

Yield: 4 hungry Jews
Ingreds:
Chicken (enough for 4 hungry Jews)
The vegetables of your desires (I like red onion, red pepper and mushroom)
Marinade – 1 splash of olive oil, 1 lemon, 1 tbsp. honey, 1 tbsp. mustard, rosemary, salt, pepper, paprikakaka

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Method to the madness

1. Cut the chicken and vegetables into cubes and place them on skewers. If you’re a peasant and only have wooden skewers make sure you soak them in water before so they don’t burn like a mofo
2. Pour over the summer grillin’ marinade. Marinade overnight if you can
3. Throw on the grill and serve with salad, corn on the cob and haloumizzle

P.s. Here are some summer pics of me and Charlie ūüôā

Charlie popped a val before a 40 minute flight… certainly made for a fun flight:

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My Rockin’ Moroccan Chicken

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Guys,

Apologies for the lack of posts recently, I’ve been horrifically busy at work. I know being busy at work is no excuse for not being good on a diet… but it kinda is bitches. Anywho, I hate to be all Jamie’s 15 minute meals, but I actually want to share with you my Moroccan chicken recipe that is both healthy yet delicious and easy to cook.

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Yield: 4 hungry Jews

Ingreds – it may sound like a lot but don’t be freaked out

8 chicken thighs – skin on, bone in – sounds hot right
2 onions
3 cloves garlic – everyone at work will love you the next day
1 small stem of ginger
1 tbsp. honey
1 tbsp. cinnamon
1 tbsp. cumin
Shit loads of chopped coriander – I know sick people out there are corianderphobes… I feel bad for you
2 cans chick peas
3 sweet potatoes or 1 butternut chopped up
Apricots, prunes or raisons or all of it
3 cans of chopped tomatoes

Method to the madness:

1. Make the rockin’ paste – blitz together onion, garlic, ginger. Brown off with oil, honey, cinnamon, cumin
2. Throw some chicken into the mix. Brown it off. If you don’t brown the chicken your dish will taste of pishy water.
3. Once everything has been browned throw in the chopped tomatoes, chick peas, dried fruit, sweet potato or butternut
4. Right now the mixture will be a mix watery mess. Cover and put in the oven on 180 Degrees C for 30 mins.
5. After 30 mins everything will be cooked but you’ll want to reduce the water content a little bit to enhance/concentrate all those delicious flavour flaves.
6. Serve with cous cous, chopped almonds & fresh coriander

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Kale Chip Croutons

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Croutons are the silver lining in any salad or soup. For years I was convinced that they were baked… when I found out they were fried I cried longer than I did when I found out Spice Girls broke up.

Yes croutons are full of calories but the geniuses in the BJOD R&D division (me and my boyfriend) set on an incredible adventure to find something which adds the same comparable crunch, texture and flavour as croutons. We found kale chips to be an amazing addition to any soup or salad. They add a bit of variation in liquid soup and are relatively low in calories. They are so simple to make as well.

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Ingreds – Kale, olive oil, salt, pepper, soup

Method to the madness:
1. Cut the kale into bit-size pieces. Get rid of those nasty stems – they’re as bitter as my parents divorce. Lol.
2. Heat the oven to 160 degrees C
3. Throw them in an oven dish, toss with a tiny bit of olive oil, salt, pepper and any other seasoning you want
4. Cook for about 20 mins till crispy but not burnt. Burn kale tastes horrific.
5. Put on top of soup. Btw the soup in the picture is 6 carrots, 3 parsnips, 1 onion, 1 clove of garlic. Sweat the onion and garlic in a pan for 5 mins then throw in the veg and boiling water, cook for 20 mins, blitz in blender and you’re done.

Stuffed Peppers with Halloumi – Big Jew style

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What did the cheese say in the mirror… HALLOUMI! Get it? If you didn’t, you don’t belong on my blog.

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Please see Masterchef shmear above. Ye it’s shit.

Everything is better stuffed and peppers are no exception – these¬†lil guys love getting a good stuffing. The recipe is super easy and will impress everyone when you bring it out.¬†Men out there don’t worry about your street cred only having veggies for a main meal, the halloumi makes the dish quite filling, but you can serve on the side of meat if you want.

For 4 hungry Jews
Ingreds:
6 yellow, red or orange peppers. Not green – no one likes green. Sorry green but you’re bitter. Bitter about that divorce with yellow.
14,780 granules of cous cous. Or 80g
Halloumi
Vegetables for the inside… I used courgettes, mushrooms, onion, olives and garlic

Method to the madness:
1. Empty the peppers, season a little with salt/peps and drizzle with olive oil – place them in the oven on 180C for 15 mins to get softer
2. While the peppers are softening in the oven add boiling water to the cous cous and cover
3. Fry off the vegetable mixture Рcourgettes (I have yellow AND green below because a new fancy greengrocer opened in West Hampstead) onion, garlic, mushrooms etc.

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4. Add vegetable mixture to the cous cous
5. Take peppers out of the oven – add in the cous cous vegetable mixture and top with slice of halloumi. Ignore the pitta chips in the picture.. they err.. were for Charlie

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6. Throw back in the oven for 10 more mins and you’re ready to eat!

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Angel vs. Devil Matzah recipes

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Hi guys,

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Only 1 more day of passover to go… why not celebrate with two matzah recipes… one recipe is the devil… the other is the angel.

Let’s start with the angel:

This lovely and easy-to-make matzah frittata. When hot it tastes like a spanish omelette but served cold it tastes like a quiche! That’s so fucking quiche.

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Yield: 4 hungry Jews

Ingreds:
Filling for the frittata – onions, peppers, olives, feta if you want – be adventurous!
8 eggs (2 per person)
4 matzah sheets

Method to the madness: 
1. Fry off the filling stuff in a pan… peppers, onions, olives… whatever you’re into.

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2. Whisk together broken matzah and egg. Leave to soak for 5 mins.

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3. Pour egg/matzah mixture over the pepper/onion mixture

4. Cook on a stove for 5 mins then flash under a grill for another 5 mins till fully cooked through

5. Serve

….

Now the devil:

Melt down 50g brown sugar and 50g butter, pour it over matzah, cook it on 150 degrees for 15 mins, then pour over chocolate chips and throw it in the freezer.¬†It’s like a Daim bar over matzah… delicious.

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Cream in my brownie

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Cream in my brownie… Cream egg that is. Dirty minds. Anyway, these are absolutely insane and my friends LOVED them. It’s super easy to make as well because I used a Betty Crocker box mix for the brownie mixture. I know I cheated, but who the hell cares when you’re literally 3 steps away from guzzling down brownie batter. I know I’m meant to be on a dizzle but it’s easter and YOLO!

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Yield: 10 hungry Jews

Ingreds: 12 cream eggs, 2 boxes of Betty Crocker brownie mix, chocolate chips

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Method to the madness: 

1. Follow brownie mix instructions. Try some of the mixture for quality control.

2. Cut cream eggs in half. Eat one for quality control.

3. After 15 mins take out the brownies and sink in the egg-halves.

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4. Bake for 10 more mins.

Ooey-gooey rich and chewy ūüôā

 

Non/fried Matzah Schniztel

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I’d eat a piece of shit if it was deep fried. I just can’t resist fried stuff. I needed to find a way to emulate that crunch without using fat. The answer.. Matzah!

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I know what you’re thinking… Matzah is a piece of shit right? Matzah gets really bad press. Its PR department work 24/7 against claims such as “it tastes of crap”and “it’s nothing compared to bread.”

I used to agree with these claims until I realised that matzah shouldn’t be used for its taste, no, but actually it should be used for its texture. Coating chicken in the stuff gives it a great crunch. What’s best is that there is absolutely no fat in this recipe.

Yield: 4 chicken strips per hungry jew

Ingreds: chicken, matzah, egg

Method to the madness:

– crunch up the matzah like it’s 1999

– coat chicken breast in egg and then matzah crumbs

– bake for 25 mins until golden brown

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Matzo-Granola – Healthy AND Kosher for Pesach

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Ok guys, I promised you that I’ve been working on some ultra sexy, healthy matzo ideas… so here you go!

Matzo granola 

If you’ll remember from this post about unhealthy assassins, granola is one of those foods which is dressed up as a healthy temptress but will then proceed to screw you over by being full of fat and sugar. Have no fear, Big Jew is here. I’ve formulated this much healthier version of granola below. It’s 100% Passover friendly too ūüôā

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Yield: 4 servings (or 1 hungry Jewish boy)

Ingredients: 

4 matzo
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
A splash of oil (any non-flavour type)
As many nuts as you want. Go nuts. (I love pecans, macadamia or walnuts in this)
Raisins

Method to the madness: 

1. Break up the matzo into fine(ish) pieces
2. Chop the nuts
3. Throw together in a baking dish with brown sugar, honey, oil, salt, cinnamon
4. Bake on 160 degrees C for about 20 mins till brown and toasty 

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I serve mine with yogurt and fruit. Enjoy 

BJOD’s Penis-butter Chicken Wrap

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Whoops I meant peanut-butter.. GAG! I made these wraps for my friends last Sunday night and they absolutely loved them. They are crunchy from the salad, soft from the tortilla and tangy from the dressing. Peanuts add salt and lime adds a zest. Here’s how to make them:

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Serving size: 4 hungry Jews
Ingreds:
8 tortilla wraps
30g peanut-butter
8 tablespoons of sesame oil
2 tablespoons honey
4 tablespoons of white wine vinegar
1 lime
Coriandizzle (or solantro for my friends across the pond)
salt, peps
Enough chicken for 4 hungry Jews… (that’s a lot of chicken)
23.5 peanuts. No more, no less
Salad stuff (whatever you want really)

Method to the madness: 

1. For the dressing mix together the peanut-butter, sesame oil, honey, vinegar, lime, salt and peps
2. Cook the chicken medium rare. Lol JK.
3. Make the salad
4. Chop the coriander and peanuts
5. Heat the wraps
6. Put together. DONE.

Healthy Hamantaschen – get your tash on!

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Being a Big Jew on a diet there is nothing that puts me on schpilkas (yiddish translation – on edge)¬†more than not being able to eat my favourite Jewish festival treats. Have no fear because I’ve got the perfect healthy hamantaschen recipe that you’re going to love! Instead of the traditional dough I use flour tortillas and the filling is roasted fig, feta, walnut, honey and thyme. They’re little fig pouches of deliciousness. Nosh away. If you want to know the history of the hamantaschen (which I’m almost 100% sure you don’t) then click here.

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The pictures don’t do it justice guys – it’s honestly delicious. Jews don’t lie. They eat, but they don’t lie.

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What you need (for 4 hungry Jews):
– Ignore the pomegranate in the picture, clumsy Jew over here dropped it on the floor
– 8 flour tortillas
– 100g feta
– 8 figs
– 53g chopped walnuts, no more no less
– 2 tbs honey
– thyme
– Toothpicks

Method t0 the madness: 
– Preheat the oven to 180C
– Cut the flour tortillas to a smaller, circular size… about the size of a small side plate
– Cut the fig in half and place in the centre of the tortilla
– Cover with feta, honey, chopped walnuts and thyme
– Close in the sides as you would a normal Hamantaschen
– The corners need a little help to stay together, so you need to use toothpicks to keep the three corners together
– Place on an oven tray for about 12/15 mins
– Nosh away!

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