In case you don’t know her yet, Meghan Trainor is popping up all over the shop with her new song ‘All About That Bass’. See the song here. The song is all about being comfortable with your size, telling us to not follow the photoshopping crowd. Now ordinarily I’d be all over a song like this, but I actually found myself eating more this weekend due to it’s messaging. Yes, that’s right, the song made me binge.
A few of my favourite lyrics from the song are:
“Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size. She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”
Yeah, that’s what my mama said and I ended up being 22 stone I was 17. Lol JK she had to padlock the food cupboard (true story).
The second lyric that made me eat were:
“But I’m here to tell ya every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top”
I was literally singing with with a buttercream enriched piece of cake in my mouth.
What’s my point here? Well, I don’t know if it’s due to my lack of willpower, but when I hear a song like this it makes me content with my size and therefore makes me eat. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is the fact that I didn’t lose any pounds this week can be blamed on Meghan Trainor. Cheers, ya bitch.
Anyone else think this, or am I on glue? I give the song 7 star of Davids.
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I wrote a jokey article a couple of weeks ago about the perils of fat people when it comes to summer… not only do we have to battle with our boobs in the heat, but we also have to sit alongside beautiful people with bodies to die for – read it here.
Yes, the post was jokey but the response from my readers made me feel unexpectedly proud and I wanted to write another blog post based on it. The vast majority of responses were from people telling me their experiences of body-shame on the beach and how they’ve learned to cope with the feeling of guilt about being fat in a judgemental society.
This leads me to my first question – are you guilty about being fat? Do you feel guilty whenever you go to pick up a piece of cake? I know for sure that I do. I have two types of guilt – guilt for my own health and guilt from other peoples judgement. Guilt for my own health is usually (and annoyingly) pretty late to the party. Grabbing another piece of cake is a balance between willpower and short-term blissful happiness of feeling creamy sugary buttercream go into your mouth (mmmm buttercream), but guilt usually makes a late appearance. Late, but long-lasting unfortunately.
It’s the guilt from other peoples judgement which is the interesting one. I think, for me anyway, the main evidence of this is whether or not I secret eat. Guilt from other people wouldn’t exist if the other people weren’t there. If I got locked in a supermarket by myself overnight salad would not even enter my mind. However, it’s the looks from my friends/family whenever I go to eat a piece of cake which makes me feel incredibly guilty. It almost sometimes makes me feel that it’s not even worth it. However, where this becomes dangerous as it’s more often than not that I’ll find myself sticking my fingers into a jar of peanut butter when I get home.
Second question – does the guilt help you? I’m undecided on this one. Guilt has evolved because it helped us in the past. The more guilty you felt for doing something wrong (and potentially harmful – i.e. eating a piece of cake), the less you did it and the more you survived. Makes perfect sense. However, we’re not living in a simple world any more with a couple of animals to kill for meat and a bush to grab berries from. We live in a complex society of thousands of yummy restaurants on our doorstep and a happy-to-judge society. Guilt, for me, can be a positive and a negative. The positive is that I know in myself that if i truly didn’t give a shit I would eat like there’s no tomorrow. The element of guilt, whilst sucky, actually keeps me from becoming super obese. However, the negative end of the spectrum makes me feel sad, and we all know what being sad does to my eating habits… Cream, cream city bitch.
I think feeling guilty is fine balance. You need a little bit there to keep you on track from not getting too fat, but you don’t want too much to feel constantly bad about yourself.
What do you think readers? I’d love to hear from you all 🙂
It’s funny how society has made our lives so busy and stressful that we forget about how lucky we are to be here in the first place. It’s human nature to just survive. I doubt our ancestors spent every waking minute appreciating how they currently weren’t being eaten by a dinosaur. That’s fine for them, but it’s not just a simple dinosaur in today’s world that threatens our happiness. No, it’s a horrible boss, a mean weight comment, a downpayment in a terrible economic climate… the list goes on. There’s so many elements to what we think is a ‘successful life’ that we spend most of our time trying to get there.
There was a ‘bomb’ planted outside my building at work the other day. It turned out to be a bloody gym kit (giving me even MORE reason to not like going to the gym). The point is, for about 3 hours the loudspeaker at work was telling us to ‘stay put, keep calm, emergency servicing are in attendance.’ The city became a ghost town with one lonely bomb squad robot (like Wall-E) undertaking a controlled explosion.
I looked around my office and I could see panic and worry in peoples eyes. Colleagues were getting calls of their other husbands, wives, parents, kids checking they were ok. I was sitting there thinking how I’ve spent too much time worrying about my weight over the past month. I know that worrying is there to serve us evolutionarily, but clearly worry about my weight isn’t working productively for me as I’m still fat and could NO-WAY outrun a hungry wooly mammoth.
All of a sudden I hear “Emergency services have now left the area – everything is fine.”
I tell my team to sit back and appreciate life for a moment. They look at me like I’m a nutter and all rush off to their meetings staring down at their Blackberrys. What I found most interesting about this whole experience is not how quickly we became worried for our lives… but how even MORE quickly we forgot what that feeling of life-appreciation was like. Not me – I went downstairs and I sat outside (alongside the smokers who weren’t able to have a cigarette for 3 hours.. you can tell how much they were appreciating a good puff) and I thought to myself how lucky I was to be outside.
It took me about 20 minutes to join everyone back in their normal routines, as I started worrying about my weight again.
Today marks 6 months from when I broke up with my lifelong partner. Not a day goes by without me missing him, but I know in the long run he wasn’t good for me. I still remember the way he’d make me feel confident, the way he’d fill me with goodness and how I could smell him on my pillow for days after he had gone. However I also remember how he’d need to call me every 40 minutes and if I tried to ignore him it would only get worse. I also remember how he hated me going on planes and in the cinema… and I also remember how my parents and friends hated him being around. I’m talking about my love affair with cigarettes. I went from smoking about 25 cigs a day to 0. I know this blog is about dieting, but it’s important to remember how I became a fat shit in the first place. In the 4 months after I quit I had put on about 2 stone.
Why I quit smoking:
This one was simple… I read this article here about a 33 year old dying of lung cancer. Immediately it hit home that smoking doesn’t just kill people in their 50’s and 60’s (although that’s bad enough)… but it could begin to affect me in about 5 years! I’m 24 and there is no way in hell I’d let smoking kill me.
How I stopped smoking:
People ask me this one the whole time… I guess it’s unusual to see a heavy smoker quit for the first time and never smoke again. The secrets to my success are:
1) www.whyquit.com – So much of my success I put down to reading through this random website I found. In the first few days when I couldn’t sleep from withdrawal symptoms I would read this site. It’s incredible – it explains how the addiction starts and how you can stop it. Every time I see a smoker now I see them as an addict. I still look back at smoking as if I loved it but the simple fact is that no one loves a cigarette when they first put it in their mouths. Nicotine is an INCREDIBLY addictive substance and will do all sorts of tricks to make you THINK you love it. Well, this site will educate you about how to stop this love affair.
2) Get that turkey nice and COLD. Cold turkey is the way forward… you’re trying to quit NICOTINE not smoking… I have always had an issue with willpower and I knew that if I didn’t eliminate nicotine from my system completely, then at some point I wouldn’t have been able to resist a cig at some point during my quit. Cutting down doesn’t work either…. ONE cigarette gives you enough nicotine each day to make your body/mind crave a cigarette for yet another day. Even if you cut down to 1, you’re still dragging the quitting process on… it’s not fair on your body. I quit cold turkey and yes the 3/4 first days were a f*cking nightmare but it gets significantly better as time goes on. It’s actually quite interesting to see how your body begins to get over the addiction. Furthermore, e-cigs haven’t been regulated and we don’t know the negative side effects of them either yet… also everyone I know who used them to quit are not addicted to them… It’s all about breaking away from that nicotine addiction.
3) Constant reminders. List ALL the reasons you want to quit on your notes App on your phone… take a screenshot and put it as your background. This will act as a constant reminder to why you want to quit.
4) STUFF YOUR FAT FACE. Yes I know this is what got me into this weight gain in the first place, but I truly think I wouldn’t have quit without being able to eat what I want… especially in the first couple of weeks. A short-term weight gain is so much healthier than a long-term smoking habit. Yes I know neither of them are ideal, but I got myself in this mess in the first place so I needed to try my hardest to get myself out of it.
5) Support. This site is amazing – it’s for all people who are trying to quit smoking – http://www.reddit.com/r/stopsmoking. I still read it now!
Do I miss it? Yes, but do I feel better for it? Fuck yes. Words can’t describe how good I feel.